Duvet Defender Pillows

'Sorry Ma'am, but stealing the duvet is not actually a criminal offense.'

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

No Soliciting

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Save the Cacti.

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Droplet with a pencil.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Olympic Duvet Grabbing.

Revenge of the Mallards.

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

My first pro bono case.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."