Duvet Defender T-Shirts

'Sorry Ma'am, but stealing the duvet is not actually a criminal offense.'

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

No Soliciting

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

You're in luck - The 5-second rule is not legally binding. Donuts.

Save the Cacti.

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Beditation: "I am at one with the duvet."

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Droplet with a pencil.

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

My first pro bono case.

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

Olympic Duvet Grabbing.