Duvet Denier Pillows

A sleeping couple

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

Wrong end of extension cord.

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

Santa's elves were caught resting on their laurels.

Ikeasaurus

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

"We all have a duvet day, Martin, but a duvet week!"

Man in puzzle shop looks at staff picks which are individual puzzle pieces.

"Everyone knows you can't disturb a nesting bird. I guess we'll have to postpone our diet."

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

"Not a problem Miss: If it's too tight, I'll open it up a bit for you..."

'He made that sofa himself, the last thing he ever made!'

Woman threatens husband with gun in bed. He says: 'You've gone too far with this stealing the duvet habit.'

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"Great way to change wallpaper. I've put them on rollers."

"You'll find that in the second drawer from the bottom under the scissors."

'Disaster in the making...'

A good boss is quick to spot an employee who is working within their comfort zone.

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'

Window Dressing.