Duvet Denier Pillows

A sleeping couple

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

Wrong end of extension cord.

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

Ikeasaurus

"Look's like a dummy run to me!"

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

Santa's elves were caught resting on their laurels.

"Since you insist on imagining yourself as always 39 years old, I thought it only appropriate to invite all your imaginary friends."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

Beditation: "I am at one with the duvet."

Man in puzzle shop looks at staff picks which are individual puzzle pieces.

"We all have a duvet day, Martin, but a duvet week!"

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

"Everyone knows you can't disturb a nesting bird. I guess we'll have to postpone our diet."

"Not a problem Miss: If it's too tight, I'll open it up a bit for you..."

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

'He made that sofa himself, the last thing he ever made!'

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"Great way to change wallpaper. I've put them on rollers."

"You'll find that in the second drawer from the bottom under the scissors."

Woman threatens husband with gun in bed. He says: 'You've gone too far with this stealing the duvet habit.'

'Disaster in the making...'

A good boss is quick to spot an employee who is working within their comfort zone.

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

'I've heard of couples arguing over the bedclothes before, but for them to call the police is ridiculous!'