Hog Handler Pillows

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Pushy Dog

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

Saggy Boobs Make Great Bungee Ropes for Bored Hamsters.

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

'Damn showdog people!'

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Pony Love...

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

A man lies across the humps of a camel.

'Nowadays kiddo, we just need to herd the sheep, but my grandfather had to protect them from wolves!'