Hog Handler T-Shirts

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Pushy Dog

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"He did it!"

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

'Bad news! We're hamsters!'

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

Saggy Boobs Make Great Bungee Ropes for Bored Hamsters.

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

'Damn showdog people!'

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

'Did you read my email about Timmy falling down the well?'

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Pony Love...

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

A man lies across the humps of a camel.