Blanket Hog Pillows

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

Baby blanket.

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

A sleeping couple

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

"I need backup on 'D' Wing — they've built another den!"

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

'I would like you to please not tell people I'm a stalker!'

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'

Beware Of The Hog...

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

'I'm drowning in a sea of tranquility.'

"Never mind self-identifying as a hibernating bear, get up NOW!"

And as the chrysalis emerged from its nest, she is forced to shed the final layers of her cocoon and brave the world at last.