Heater Hog Pillows

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

"USA map"

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Wife to husband about pigs in kitchen: 'Sometimes I wish you weren't the county's champion hog caller.'

"I L-L-LOVE ICE F-F-FISHING!"

"Jeffrey, where'd you go?"

Well, I'm not leaving.

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"Kinda makes it feel like summer."

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

Beware Of The Hog...

"You call this a knot?"

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

"I can take the heat ... I worked in investment banking."