Bed Hogs Pillows

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

'We don't do tricks.. because then they'll begin to expect it.'

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

Doggie Bowl Drill

Hogwarts Academy. What magic? This is a veterinary school specializing in swine skin conditions.

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"I can't take all the credit for this great quarter... but I will anyway."

'It's so cold in here, and the heat is on full blast!'

"USA map"

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"I know I'm not using all the chair but I don't do sub-leases!"

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

"Yes, I know it's spring dear. But can I just have another day or two in bed?"

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

Pet Games

"Jeffrey, where'd you go?"

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

'Cute.'

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"I've never rolled in anything I didn't like."

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'