Beachgoer Gifts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"Save my spot?"

Octopus Lady

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

Hen, pig and cow sunbathing turn into fried egg,bacon and burger.

'We'd better get out of the sun, sweety. That little thingy on your back just popped up.'

"I can remember when there was nothing here but polar ice."

'Jesus, Helen - you can't go on the beach like that! It's obscene!'

'Help! Lifeguard! I'm drowning in a sea of people!'

'How could you kids be so irresponsible?! You bury your dad in the sand and then lose him, knowing full well that the car keys are in his pocket!'

"If I had known you were going to wear the thong I would have killed myself."

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

'Oh boy, someone's in trouble!'

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'But Steve, it still doesn't make you kosher!'

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

T-shirts read: I am the master of my fate/Oh yeah?

'Wow! And I can hear the vineyard!'

Beautiful people and everybody else.

'I may rust, but this sunset will be worth it.'

Donkey rides on beach, "Well he's not getting any younger"

Man's hotdog sausage shoots out of his bun as a hot lady walks past.

Bad Lifeguard

English man in Australia during christmas

Flock of tourists choosing view of nudist beach over a scenic view.

"Soory, Mr. WIlliams... I guess it's taking me a bit of time to re-adjust after my vacation!"

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

'Bop him on the nose, Larry! Just bop him on the nose and he'll let go!'

Diet for sharks

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

'I can stay under water for ten minutes. . . See, it's easy.'

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"Come out, honey. I found the sunscreen."

"Oh, no, it's that guy we meet so often we think we know him."