Beachgoing Gifts

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

Octopus Lady

Renewable Energy

'My plan is to build a sandcastle here, but right now I'm working on the financing.'

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"Damn the Germans got here first!"

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

"No, sweetie, we don't go to the beach. We're from New Jersey - we go to the shore."

Cow going to Moood Beach.

Sunblock, for insensitive skin.

How To Go In

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'We interupt ocean sounds for an advertorial against offshore oil drilling...'

"Help. I can't get WiFi out here."

A day at the beach

'Come here often?'

Grim Reaper: 'Really wish you were here...'

'Sorry, kids, I forgot we live in Michigan.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'It's the middle of summer and the family is beginning to fear that you're stalking them.'

Happy?... well yes, I guess I am... but I really don't have anything to compare it to.

"You really need some sun."

Nudist Beach: Beautiful PeopleEveryone else.

"We should just stay down here year-round."

"Yes, it's new. Like it?"

"It's nice to see one not stranded for a change."

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

Swimmers sewage warning

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"We can put a man on the moon, but we can't put a Trader Joe's on Wailea Beach?!"

"Stop saying 'fire bad' — it's the sun!"

The Leathery, Shapeless speedo sporter.

"Drowning. What's new with you?"