Beachgoers Gifts

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"I don't recall it being quite this humid last July."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"...I was just wondering Earl, could you do me another favor during high tide?"

Noys'r'us.

"With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!"

'Umm...guys, this isn't tanning spray.'

"A general! Goodness gracious, you don't look like a general!"

'Phone Services - Desperate Selling to Small Businesses'

"Dad fell asleep while working on his computer, so I buried him in sand. Not because it was fun, but because I wanted to use his computer."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

"Save the thong. I'd like to floss afterwards."

When Chairs Attack

"Yo, dude, like I always thought cats were afraid of the water!"

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

"It has to be really warm before Derek takes his thermal undies off."

"At Rovers' stadium, that would be a yellow card."

'It's easy for you to float, mom, you got buoys!'

Bikini bottoms are breeches of promise.

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

Caution: 5 Day Wading Period

'Stay outta the sun, kids...'

"If it's not safe to go in the water and it's not safe to go in the sun, why did you bring me here?"

Well, maybe this beach is so new my GPS didn't even know about it – Did you ever think of that?

Nekkid Ladies

Dogs Leave Romantic Imprint in the Sand.

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

"That's better, Princess. Now let's go to the beach so I can meet your new boyfriend!"

"Take away the bikini and what are you left with?"

'Plug the connector into your laptop to download a multimedia presentation of the roars of the sea.'

'Thank you for calling. Please hold - on as tight as you can.'