Beach Going Gifts

"Which way to the tug convention, honey?"

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

Who needs Benidorm when we have global warming?

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"Damn!—feels like another lawyer."

No, cruel nature, WHY?

Beer Belly.

'Who says I'm beached?'

'That's not oil-based, is it?'

'The acme fund...1 yr, 10...5 yr, 12...10 yr, 17.'

'Remember, honey, we're in Mexico, not Europe.'

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Holiday time.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'He lives for his holidays.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Bring your own inflatable.

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me