Beaching Gifts

"You need to disconnect for awhile and unwind."

'Is there a cash machine on this Island?'

"John...remember telling the kids they couldn't use any devices on vacation?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Desert Island Meals.

Holiday time.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Beach con-man.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Bring your own inflatable.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'He lives for his holidays.'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Working Holiday