Beach Visits Gifts

"You've got a bit of thong caught between your front teeth."

Energy saving mode

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

Dog unable to surf ('No dogs allowed').

"I forgot blue."

"I was just browsing."

"I visited the beach on Google Earth. Next time I'll wear sunscreen."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Holiday time.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Thank-you God.'

'He lives for his holidays.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Bring your own inflatable.

Working Holiday