Beach Visitation Gifts

'You know what, you're right: I should have looked at the map earlier...'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Bring your own inflatable.

Beach Barbecue

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Try me/try me/try me...

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Shellfie

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"For a normal sunset say 'one', for a romantic sunset say 'two', but first please give us your credit card details."

Stonehenge Sandcastle

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

Energy saving mode