Beach Trips Gifts

You're getting warmer.

'Did you just curdle?'

'Not only that, but we'll be able to send off 288 messages for help in the empty bottles!'

"I'm just thinking about how much money we saved not going abroad."

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

Where we get coconut milk.

"Trust me, the joy of having sand between your toes wears off after a while..."

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

'I'm not surprised it doesn't work, it's a litterbin!'

"Two buckets and spades, please...er, better make that three!"

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'I think it's some kind of power point presentation.'

A woman stands on a beach watching an airplane going by pulling a banner that reads "Debbie, I have a problem with intimacy - Tony".

'Maybe you'd feel better if you went back to the room and sent a few emails.'

Man Taking Fish for a Walk.

"I bought a time share in South Beach."

"The tide is out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message..."

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

'Tomorrow, I'm going on vacation from this darned bike.'

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Local Knowledge

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Bring your own inflatable.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Beach Barbecue

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Try me/try me/try me...

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."