Beach Vacation Gifts

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"Ah, the ecstasy of moving all the right muscle groups."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

Child complaining while his mother putting on total 'son' block.

Man sunbathes with 'David Dickinson'-strength suncream.

Welcome to our unspoiled beach.

Beach Scene

"Gawd Martha, what do they look like?"

'I think he wants you to go out further!'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

The Soho Beachwear Look

Two piece outfits only.

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

Try me/try me/try me...

'If you hold this to your ear and dial 0976854 you can hear the sea.'

"Where'd Uncle Murray go?"

Feeling for shells

"Looks like Fred's headed to that clothing optional beach again."

Hacked by Pacific Rim

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

Shellfie

"I wouldn't call them bad clams, just menacing."

Stonehenge Sandcastle

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"You'd better put more sunscreen on Darling: I can sense a faint smell of bacon..."

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."

Death, on holiday, forgets to pack the sunscreen.

"This is how I'd like to remember the Hamptons - with someone's golf Rolex sticking out of the sand."

"This one picks up the Atlantic from Manasquan to Cape Henlopen."

"How's it look back there?"

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

The brochure did say to watch out for the bottom-feeding fish.

Bathing woman wearing a hat

'Sorry, the tide is out right now, but if you leave your name and number....'