Planning A Beach Vacation Gifts

Nudist Beach: Beautiful PeopleEveryone else.

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"First class, or with children?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Bring your own inflatable.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Beach Barbecue

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Shellfie

Camping.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

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