Planning A Summer Vacation Gifts

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"First class, or with children?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Airlines

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'He lives for his holidays.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Bring your own inflatable.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Build a Raft

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Marshmallows

'Are we there yet?'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Try me/try me/try me...

'How very Cumbria.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"