Planning A Vacation Gifts

The grass is always greener.

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

'We want to see all the sights before climate change makes southern Europe uninhabitable.'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Canada's winter survival kit.

"How about Nebraska? The dollar's still strong in Nebraska."

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

"Jane is busy with her holiday packing list."

'Two for French Polynesia.'

'One of the things I want to do in life, is swim with humans!'

Cozy Inn: All You Can Sleep

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

Great North Travel...'Your Florida connection!'

"I reckon we could get 'em under the Trades Description Act!"

"Sounds like you've got a great vacation planned...with plenty of down-time for the conference calls I'm planning."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'It's a blonde, longlegged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Castronaut: 'Visit Cuba!'

'Well, of COURSE we're running away! Do you have any travel packages to sunny Cape Cod?'

Move to Arizona.

Summer's coming! Occupy Cornwall!

DisneyworldDisneyland - Continental Divide.

City travel: 'If you like our cheese, you'll love Switzerland!'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'Visit the Sahara! Sunshine or your money back!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

Bed of Nails on Holiday

The Modern Tourist

'I can book your reservations now. I'm checking the linings for airline arrivals, departures, bankruptcies...'

"Very clever, but he´s not coming to Australia with us."