Vacation Planning Gifts

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

'Let's plan on being totally spontaneous next weekend.'

'We'll fill in the blank after we hear what you have in mind for our summer vacation.'

"'Anywhere' is very popular right now."

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Begger plans vacation, sign reads: Please help me get my priorities straight

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

'We will fill in that space after we hear what you have in mind for summer vacation!'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Canada's winter survival kit.

"I want two days and one dazzling night on the Orient Express!"

"Where do you want to worry we're spending too much money this summer?"

'Honest Dad! All I said was school holidays!'

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

"Right, now have got everything - passports, airline tickets, parachutes..."

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Since that was the two weeks you were on vacation last year, Simms, we're giving you a six week vacation this year.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'I think I'll send my parents on a trip this summer, something to get them out of the house.'

'Are we there yet?!'

Did you know two out of three people take holidays in the UK? Great! We can send my wife and her mother to Cornwall...and I'll go to Spain.

Excess Baggage: Many couples pack for trips in totally different ways.

"Let's update our will and go on vacation."

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

"I'm looking for a holiday destination that's reasonably open minded about contagion."

"It's 40 degrees in Europe. Maybe we should take that Paris trip we always talk about, and get away from this oppressive heat."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

"They're selling timeshares in Alaska."

'I hear the U.K is very nice at this time of year.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'I'm not turning you out. It's just that I'm taking my vacation, as cat naps in half hour increments, over several months.'