Vacation Planning Gifts

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

'We'll fill in the blank after we hear what you have in mind for our summer vacation.'

'Let's plan on being totally spontaneous next weekend.'

"'Anywhere' is very popular right now."

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Begger plans vacation, sign reads: Please help me get my priorities straight

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

'We will fill in that space after we hear what you have in mind for summer vacation!'

Canada's winter survival kit.

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'Honest Dad! All I said was school holidays!'

"Right, now have got everything - passports, airline tickets, parachutes..."

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

'Since that was the two weeks you were on vacation last year, Simms, we're giving you a six week vacation this year.'

"Where do you want to worry we're spending too much money this summer?"

"I want two days and one dazzling night on the Orient Express!"

'Okay, let's get started on your trip. . . are you folks really gotta know or just really gotta go?'

"We want a good selection of hotels restaurants and activities...but no tourists!"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"We'd like to get away from it all...including each other!"

"The holiday was a real eye opener...the crowds,the unbearable heat and noise,the chaos...and that was just at Heathrow."

Travel Agency, Let us plan your next trip

'I hate February.'

"It's 40 degrees in Europe. Maybe we should take that Paris trip we always talk about, and get away from this oppressive heat."

"Let's update our will and go on vacation."

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

"For the last time lady fudget you don't need innoculations to travel to Watford."

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

"I'm looking for a holiday destination that's reasonably open minded about contagion."