Vacation Planners Gifts

'Did you remember to unplug the car?'

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

"We're not year-round people, weekend people, or summer people. We're last-ten-days-in-August people."

Suitcase Trailer

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "The Hendersons saved a small fortune in children's air fares"

This is our great new cruise to the Middle East - 40 days and 40 nights.

"I found footprints in the cat litter box this morning."

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

"...and sunny and mild for the next week. Wait. I've just been handed a revised forecast for the Whitleys' vacation."

"I thought you packed the kids"

'Good news, I've just booked our holiday, it's two weeks in a caravan in Wales.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Well, me and my mobile igloo are off to Florida for the winter."

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

Travel Agent - Building not finished

That's my summer place.

A planet like ours - "You want the pyramids. I want Bermuda. I'm driving. I win."

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

Which Hilton have you booked me into?

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'You know how vacations are. You don't even get to the end of the block before your dad starts asking if it's over yet.'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

Step one...try to relax.

"You usually don't see them so close to people who urinate in the water."

Hi! You guys going away this summer? No. Too bad. A change of scenery is good. We're on vacation now. Oh, I forgot. Your kids are gone for the week. Peace in our lifetimes.

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'