Travel Planners Gifts

'Rapture, 21st May' - 'Armageddon, 21st October' - 'What a load of old nonsense!' - 'And what return date do you want the flight?' - 'Let's say... 20th October'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Tourists

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

Italia tours

"I just..."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."