Trip Planner Extraordinaire Gifts

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

Signpost to London and Cairo with Umbrella and Parasol.

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

'The Federal Government today issued an order to American citizens to stay out of countries whose names begin with a 'B'....'

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

'...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today.'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

"Check the itinerary again Sharon, this doesn't look like Margate to me!!"

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'

'Dad, I need my passport, quickly!'

'It's a letter to Santa...'-'Can you just text him?'

'First time skiing?'

Man hanging out underpants on washing line.