Trip Planner Extraordinaire Pillows

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Are we broke yet?'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Signpost to London and Cairo with Umbrella and Parasol.

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

'The Federal Government today issued an order to American citizens to stay out of countries whose names begin with a 'B'....'

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today.'

"If you don't get on that plane...there's also the 5:43, then the 9:27, but that's got a layover in Atlanta, then..."

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

'First time skiing?'

'I'd like to time my vacation to when my mate is in heat.'

'Dad, I need my passport, quickly!'

'It's a letter to Santa...'-'Can you just text him?'

"Check the itinerary again Sharon, this doesn't look like Margate to me!!"

Man hanging out underpants on washing line.

'This year let's migrate in the off-season when traffic isn't so heavy.'