Planning A Beach Vacation T-Shirts

Nudist Beach: Beautiful PeopleEveryone else.

Naturist Beach - Nudity strictly enforced.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"First class, or with children?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Bring your own inflatable.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Beach Barbecue

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Camping.

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

Shellfie

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Temporarily Unavailable

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"