Going On A Beach Vacation T-Shirts

'I love Summer holidays at the beach: Humans look so ridiculous without their clothes on...'

"It has always baffled me how you managed to get your tan so even"

'Darn! I forgot the sun block!'

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Airlines

Bring your own inflatable.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Beach Barbecue

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Try me/try me/try me...

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Shellfie

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

Temporarily Unavailable

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"For a normal sunset say 'one', for a romantic sunset say 'two', but first please give us your credit card details."

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...