Beachgoer T-Shirts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"Save my spot?"

Octopus Lady

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'We'd better get out of the sun, sweety. That little thingy on your back just popped up.'

"I can remember when there was nothing here but polar ice."

'Help! Lifeguard! I'm drowning in a sea of people!'

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

"If I had known you were going to wear the thong I would have killed myself."

'Oh boy, someone's in trouble!'

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

Beautiful people and everybody else.

Bad Lifeguard

'But Steve, it still doesn't make you kosher!'

'I may rust, but this sunset will be worth it.'

Donkey rides on beach, "Well he's not getting any younger"

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

T-shirts read: I am the master of my fate/Oh yeah?

Flock of tourists choosing view of nudist beach over a scenic view.

Man's hotdog sausage shoots out of his bun as a hot lady walks past.

'Wow! And I can hear the vineyard!'

English man in Australia during christmas

Haircuts on the beach under barberpole striped lighthouse.

'I can stay under water for ten minutes. . . See, it's easy.'

Welcome to our unspoiled beach.

"Oh, no, it's that guy we meet so often we think we know him."

"Come out, honey. I found the sunscreen."

"No, you said you'd bring lemon juice!"

Beach body.

'I win!'

'Ninety eight pound weakling? Heck no, I weigh one twenty.'

Today will be a scorcher! So if you're heading out to the beach, don't forget your sunblock...

Surf lifesavers' joke - Corporate sharks

'Just think Nigel, if you weren't wearing grey socks and sandals this could be romantic.'