Beachfront Diner Gifts

"Got anything not so close to the kitchen?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'The customer is always right...'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

When Dinosaurs Roamed the Restaurants

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

Rabbits picknick

S. S. All You Can Eat

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"