Casual Diner Gifts

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

Strict Diet,

Mom's Bar & Grill

'Your table is almost ready.'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

"And would sir or madam like an aperitif?"

'What's wrong with having leftovers from last night's TV dinners? We're watching part two of last night's show.'

Restaurant has 'beautiful view' on bikini girl.

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"Quick swig to see if its OK?"

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"Perhaps the wine is a little too chilled. My fingers are frozen to the glass."

Honk if you love Jesus. Jesus Cruz's Bar & Grill 12mi. ahead.

'Can we get this to go? There's a ballgame on TV.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'I hope you don't think of this as some sort of pick up line.'

'Is it white wine with tacos and red wine with hamburgers, or the other way around?'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

"Does the lack of exercise and dieting make me look fat?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Water... tap water... pinot gris... chips... and maybe some guac... you know, for the table..."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Guac-A-Mole"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"You need a hobby."

"Just eat the darn thing!"

"Sometimes all you want is a mediocre place to eat something you could have made better yourself if you weren't so lazy."