Casual Diner Conundrum Gifts

'That's our entry-level menu.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Fresh pepper?"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Yes, I'm still working on it."