Casual Diner Guru Gifts

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Fresh pepper?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"The usual."

Two scottish gentleman debating over having Welsh rabbit

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'