Casual Dining Aficionado Gifts

"Hi, welcome to Hooter."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Fresh pepper?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"How's the salmon?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'