Casual Dining Aficionado T-Shirts

"Hi, welcome to Hooter."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Fresh pepper?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."