Casual Dining Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Clancy's Chow Palace was not a good choice for Emily Hargrave's retirement dinner.

'They use paper plates.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Fresh pepper?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Advanced footsie

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"