Light-hearted Diner Gifts

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"What fly?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

"Guac-A-Mole"

"You need a hobby."

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."