Light-hearted Diner T-Shirts

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"What fly?"

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"You need a hobby."

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."