Fun-loving Diner T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, sir. That's the children's menu."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"What fly?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

Road Kill Cafe.

"You need a hobby."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)