Relaxed Diner T-Shirts

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Anything Goes Cafe: No shoes, no shirt - come on in

'We serve comfort food in a laid back atmosphere, so lower your expectations, be prepared to wait, and I'll be back for your order unless I go home.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Diner.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Countervailing Clichés.

'How is the water prepared?'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"For drinks or dinner?"

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Linguini for two?"

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

'You made me jump,'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Your tea is getting cold.'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'