Leisurely Diner T-Shirts

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Fresh pepper?"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"For drinks or dinner?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"Linguini for two?"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'What kind of...'

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"You need a hobby."

"Guac-A-Mole"

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'