Empathetic Diner T-Shirts

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Grandma's caf

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Linguini for two?"

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"Is this business or pleasure?"

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

"Do you want me to seat you in the 'Had sex this morning' section or the 'Had a fight this morning' section?"

"Waiter... This roast chicken. Can I see it's death certificate please?"

Spacious Skies - Amber Waves of Grain - Purple Mountains - Fruited Plain - Leo's Diner

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

'I highly recommend the mousecargot.'

'There's a chandelier in my soup.'

'Say 'when' or just think it really hard... I'm also kind of a psychic.'

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

"We're having chicken Cuca for dinner tonight!"