Empathetic Diner Gifts

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Grandma's caf

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Linguini for two?"

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"Is this business or pleasure?"

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"Do you want me to seat you in the 'Had sex this morning' section or the 'Had a fight this morning' section?"

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."

"Waiter... This roast chicken. Can I see it's death certificate please?"

Spacious Skies - Amber Waves of Grain - Purple Mountains - Fruited Plain - Leo's Diner

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

'I highly recommend the mousecargot.'

'There's a chandelier in my soup.'

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

'Say 'when' or just think it really hard... I'm also kind of a psychic.'

"I think this may be an appropriate moment to say a few words in memory of the animals we've slaughtered for our pleasure."

"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."