Emotional Diner Gifts

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"A votre sante!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Linguini for two?"

Ice Cream Flavors

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"Just a drop."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Eating huge amounts of chocolate sometimes helps."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'Meat loaf again!'

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'