Peaceful Diner Gifts

"Sorry, I refuse to eat anything that has a face."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"For drinks or dinner?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"You need a hobby."

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

'I hope when we're older we'll be able to communicate without even speaking words.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."