Quiet Diners Gifts

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Can I have flies with that'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Sushi Train Spotters

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"A votre sante!"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Chicken Coupe.

Big Boy Foot

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Just a drop."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"So, you're staying in then?"

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!