Peaceful Diner Pillows

"Sorry, I refuse to eat anything that has a face."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"For drinks or dinner?"

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

"You need a hobby."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'