Romantic Diner Gifts

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Well if you're going to play footsie with Roy Keane, what do you expect?'

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"Do you want me to seat you in the 'Had sex this morning' section or the 'Had a fight this morning' section?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Is this business or pleasure?"

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'S'more wine?'

Ten out of ten for effort...

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"And how would you like your steak?"

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"Why, of course I love you...and other such keywords."

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'