Romantic Diner Pillows

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Well if you're going to play footsie with Roy Keane, what do you expect?'

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"Do you want me to seat you in the 'Had sex this morning' section or the 'Had a fight this morning' section?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Is this business or pleasure?"

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

Ten out of ten for effort...

'S'more wine?'

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

'Instead of a tip, I wrote you a poem.'