Nostalgic Diner Pillows

"This place was better before they tore it down."

"Rudy, would you mind ordering your uncle his usual oatmeal?"

'Could I have a look at your children's menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'You had the Lasagna six months ago, and the Souffle last time you dined here: I never forget an order...'

'Apple pie!'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Diner.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Old Spice

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Linguini for two?"

Scales

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

The wine speaks for itself

"Is this business or pleasure?"

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

'...and tell the butcher I want the biggest, fattest Christmas goose...' '...the Health Dept. shut him down.'

'This restuarant has really gone downhill. Remember when you used to get a Wet-Nap with your meal?'

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

In a coal miner diner, customers have fainted from the fumes.

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"Here's your 'Senior Citizen Sunrise Special', Sir. And, NO! You can't have any salt!"

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.