Nostalgic Diner Gifts

"This place was better before they tore it down."

"Rudy, would you mind ordering your uncle his usual oatmeal?"

'Could I have a look at your children's menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'You had the Lasagna six months ago, and the Souffle last time you dined here: I never forget an order...'

'Apple pie!'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Diner.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Old Spice

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Linguini for two?"

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

Scales

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Yes, I'm still working on it."

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

"Is this business or pleasure?"

The wine speaks for itself

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"Do you want me to seat you in the 'Had sex this morning' section or the 'Had a fight this morning' section?"

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

In a coal miner diner, customers have fainted from the fumes.

"Here's your 'Senior Citizen Sunrise Special', Sir. And, NO! You can't have any salt!"

'Not only is smoking permitted, we insist on it!'